Stop Smoking Day 40 - Wednesday February 20th 2008

This evening after I'd had my meal and I was drinking some red wine, I thought about what it would be like to have a smoke. The feeling was there that I wanted something, which must be why I thought about smoking.

However, the thought of the smoke going into my lungs made me feel sick. I've mentioned this before in this blog, but it still surprises me that it makes me feel that way. I had heard other people mention it before, but I never thought I would feel that way. I wonder if it's the Champix?

Anyway, what it has made me realise is that I wanted something, but not a cigarette. That probably means that for all these years that I thought I wanted a cigarette, I didn't really want one. I think the cigarette plays tricks on us, making us think that we want one when we don't want one at all. It makes it easy to see how we become so addicted.

Now I must try to find out what the "something" is. Maybe it's nothing. Maybe it's just because I've become so used to smoking that I expect there to be something else. Non-smokers don't think there's anything missing so I suppose it's just something we have to get used to now that we no longer smoke.

Saved so far £330.00