I've had many attempts in the past to stop smoking. Each time, I can clearly remember my thought process as I was smoking my "last cigarette". It was something like "Well this is it then, the very last cigarette I'll ever have....and this is the last drag.....yeah, right!"
It was always the same, I could never truly believe that I would do it, and I was always right. Well you may be surprised to know that when I had my last cigarette this time round, my thought process was EXACTLY the same. I didn't believe I could really do it, but now I'm starting to believe that I can and will.
Another thing is, I always dreamt of being able to say to people "If I can do it, anybody can". But I always thought that I was more addicted than anybody else so I would never be able to give it up. I think I was partly right, in that I'm not sure how anyone could have been more addicted than me. Perhaps if they smoke 60 a day or whatever.
I had got to the stage in my addiction where I would take every single opportunity to have a smoke. It was always on my mind. Stupid things like not parking too close to the entrance of somewhere (when I was with my kids) so I would have time for a smoke on the way from the car. I didn't really want one, it was just an opportunity.
I had a tooth extracted once and the dentist told me not to smoke for 24 hours or I would risk an infection. What a stupid dentist. How did he expect me to do that? Anyway it was well worth the risk wasn't it? Of course, I lit up as soon as I walked out the door. Actually, I think I walked past the window first in case he could see me, like I'm doing something "naughty". Ridiculous isn't it?
Well, if I can do it anyone can.
My Mum died 10 years ago today and I still miss her. She died of cancer aged 58.
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5 comments:
sorry for your mom.. But now, not a smoker anymore, you may live for a long time to remember her.. And people who had passed away live in our memories, isnt it?
sorry again for my bad english...
Hi Princess, I'm glad you're still here!
There's no need to apologise for your English, I understand perfectly.
Thank you so much for your thoughts, you are right, I will now live longer. And so will you and all our friends on here!
Keep up the good work!
I have always an eye on you.. Dont feel ready yet, just trying to smoke fewer every day, I didnt start champix yet... Im kind of afraid it, i think. But this time, I want to feel sure that when i start, i ll finish as a winner!
Good for you Pete. Sorry about your Mother and I know how you feel. It will be 10 years in June that I lost mine. Seems like yesterday, doesn't it? Well, let's make them proud, huh?
Your reflections about the other times you quit and how you thought the same things then, but this may very well be different, brings something to mind for me.
I heard an analogy somewhere about finally having success overcoming any addiction. It is like being a surfer finally catching a good wave that you can ride out. All the elemnts have to come together for it to work. You have to be prepared, it has to be just the right time when you are just so fed up with it all, you have to feel stupid about doing the dumb things to schedule your life around smoking. There is a matrix of sorts. I feel that it all comes to a head and you get up on that wave and the longer you ride it the more steady and sure you are that you can indeed do it. And as the addiction loosens its hold over you, the stronger you become in your resolve to not smoke.
I look at your blog as another piece of the positive motivation to keep the quit going this time. Knowledge is important and when we see someone else we can relate to as going through the basic same trials and tribulations to gain a win over smoking, it gives you that little extra kick to stay with it and realize that we are not alone in this struggle. Well, you have got people from around the world commenting and interested in your success because it does give them hope that they can also make it, and they can in some small measure help you stick to it too.
Anyway, I am probably repeating some themes here, so I will stop. Just thanks Pete for putting your struggle and triumph over smoking out there for the rest of us to gain from and relate to.
I am not going to smoke today!
Princesss, it's OK to wait until you're ready. I understand why you are afraid, I was also afraid. But remember that you can keep trying and eventually you will win. I have tried to stop many many times before and now I think I have done it at last! I think it is easier with Champix, good luck and stay with us!
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