Hmmm, yesterday was not so good and I'm not feeling too good today either. I'm wondering if the effects of the Champix have taken a few days to wear off, and if I felt less depressed simply because I had come off the Champix!
I'm feeling very down again at the moment and if it continues, I think I'll have to start the Champix again. I am getting rather fed up with this depression and can only hope that it goes soon.
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Hi Pete
Take Champix or whatever works.
I hope the below helps.
Put simply this QUIT has been the hardest 30 days of my life.
Sounds pathetic but totally true. It's like going to war against a silent deadly enemy, who you secretly admire, only he is very real- much like the best Le Carre novel.
I define myself, sadly as a smoker. I am not yet a non-smoker even though I have not smoked for 30 long days-wow.
Notwithstanding the fact that I am reasonably intelligent, quite successful in almost every endeavour I put my mind to and whilst not Brad Pitt not exactly the Elephant Man either (although I feel I am starting to resemble John Candy but that is another story).
It has often amazed people who I meet why I choose (or rather have chosen) to smoke.
I have met loads of professional people, like myself, who have either quit long ago or otherwise cannot believe I still indulge in this horrendous habit. OK, so what? It's a part of me and I jolly well enjoy it. What I have ascertained is that smoking not only controls me, and has for a long time, but it also defines who I am and in addition what pleasure or otherwise I attach to a particular situation. I realise to a non smoker this sounds absurd but it is completely true. The only possible way we can "cure" ourselves is to seek an alternative view of our world. This is like joining a cult, and being that I am fairly set in my ways very difficult.
But, throughout all of that, I now am starting to realise that there really is no choice in the matter. It's either continue to smoke, and feed your terrible addiction for another period, say 30 days or one year, and then try try again! But why should we do that! I now feel I have come so far, depressed sure, mad you bet, annoying to my wife - totally, BUT
I tell you I enjoy the time late at night, it's 11.00 p.m. here in AUZ, because I feel I have survived another day! We have a convenience store just a short stroll away, and its a pretty safe good area. But that's not the point is it? I have to kill this demon of a thing and with support and the best will in the world I will.
So hang there, as I have said before, you are a tremendous inspiration. For you I would say keep enjoying your football,your time with family and your mates, and think of all the extra XMAS's you will have if you do not cave in!. Which I came very close to doing about 2 hours ago!
Cheers and all the best Steve
Thanks Steve, that's a good post. Well done not giving in. I nearly did today too, but thought of all you said. Cheers mate!
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