I've now gone for over 2 months without a drop(?) of smoke passing my lips. I think that's pretty good and I didn't really think I could do it.
I'm finding it difficult knowing what to write on this blog at the moment. My feelings are very mixed and confused so I haven't really got anything enlightening to say.
Earlier today, I thought to myself that I didn't miss smoking anymore, so I've just now got the depression to deal with. But then this evening, I felt that I really wanted a smoke! I then thought how nice it will be to eventually get to the point where you don't think about smoking all the time! I wish I knew when that time is going to arrive.
I hope everyone's still reading this and still off the fags. I'm sorry that I haven't been writing so much lately, but I think my state of mind has a lot to do with that. Hopefully things will start to improve fairly soon.
Showing posts with label Urges to smoke. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Urges to smoke. Show all posts
Thursday, 13 March 2008
Monday, 10 March 2008
Stop Smoking Day 59 - Monday March 10th 2008
I've been to see my doctor this morning, and he diagnosed me with mild to moderate depression. It was a bit embarrasing actually, as I was almost in tears when I was talking to him. Feeling sorry for myself I suppose.
He said that depression tends to come and go in waves and that I could be at a peak at the moment. We could either do nothing, get some anti-depressants, arrange some therapy, or a combination of the last two. He said that the therapy would be more difficult to arrange and that it was perhaps an option to come back to at a later time if necessary.
He asked me what I wanted to do, and I said that I had been feeling so low that I wanted to do something about it. Therefore, I now have some anti-depressants to add to my increasing array of daily drugs. Apparently, they can take a couple of weeks to start taking effect so we'll just have to see how it goes. I have to see him again in 4 weeks to monitor progress.
I've just realised that I haven't even mentioned smoking in this post! Perhaps I should start a new "Depression Diary" or something!
I do still miss the smoking and there are times when I long for a drag. I don't miss the wheezing and having to stand outside in the rain though! I'm still waiting for that invention that feels the same as a cigarette, but isn't bad for you!
Saved so far £486.75
He said that depression tends to come and go in waves and that I could be at a peak at the moment. We could either do nothing, get some anti-depressants, arrange some therapy, or a combination of the last two. He said that the therapy would be more difficult to arrange and that it was perhaps an option to come back to at a later time if necessary.
He asked me what I wanted to do, and I said that I had been feeling so low that I wanted to do something about it. Therefore, I now have some anti-depressants to add to my increasing array of daily drugs. Apparently, they can take a couple of weeks to start taking effect so we'll just have to see how it goes. I have to see him again in 4 weeks to monitor progress.
I've just realised that I haven't even mentioned smoking in this post! Perhaps I should start a new "Depression Diary" or something!
I do still miss the smoking and there are times when I long for a drag. I don't miss the wheezing and having to stand outside in the rain though! I'm still waiting for that invention that feels the same as a cigarette, but isn't bad for you!
Saved so far £486.75
Tuesday, 4 March 2008
Stop Smoking Day 53 - Tuesday March 4th 2008
I went back on the Champix this afternoon. It got to the point where I was so fed up with everything, that I nearly went to get some fags. However, I didn't, and I took the Champix instead.
I think I'll go see my doctor soon about my depression. It's got to the stage where I've lost interest in everything except football. Luckily for me, there's some Champions League on TV tonight (Manchester United v Lyon) so at least I've got that to look forward to.
I think I'll go see my doctor soon about my depression. It's got to the stage where I've lost interest in everything except football. Luckily for me, there's some Champions League on TV tonight (Manchester United v Lyon) so at least I've got that to look forward to.
Wednesday, 13 February 2008
Stop Smoking Day 32 - Tuesday February 12th 2008
A few more pangs again today. I'm not sure if it's my imagination, but the pangs seem to be getting stronger lately. I thought this was supposed to get easier!
I was driving home from a football match this evening, and thinking about getting home. Then I got that horrible feeling that I think we all know about. There's something missing! It was like the "looking forward to getting home" feeling was meaningless, because ... there's something missing. "There's no treats to look forward to" I thought to myself.
I'm sure that this must be one of the main reasons for people failing in their quests to stop smoking. I mean, it can't be the nicotine can it? I'm not taking any Nicotine Replacement Therapy (Champix is not NRT) and all the nicotine is supposed to have gone in a few days and I haven't had any for a month now!
So what is it that causes this horrible feeling of emptiness? I'm afraid I don't know the answer, but I'm going to have a good think about it. The only thing I can think of for now is my "ex-girlfriend analogy" that I first mentioned in this blog some time ago. I suppose we get used to something and when it's suddenly not there we get an empty feeling, or a feeling that something is missing. I'm sure it will disappear over time, but I wish it would hurry up get a move on!
If I can think of anything else then I'll obviously post it on here. In the meantime has anyone got any ideas about it and how best to handle it?
Saved so far £264.00
I was driving home from a football match this evening, and thinking about getting home. Then I got that horrible feeling that I think we all know about. There's something missing! It was like the "looking forward to getting home" feeling was meaningless, because ... there's something missing. "There's no treats to look forward to" I thought to myself.
I'm sure that this must be one of the main reasons for people failing in their quests to stop smoking. I mean, it can't be the nicotine can it? I'm not taking any Nicotine Replacement Therapy (Champix is not NRT) and all the nicotine is supposed to have gone in a few days and I haven't had any for a month now!
So what is it that causes this horrible feeling of emptiness? I'm afraid I don't know the answer, but I'm going to have a good think about it. The only thing I can think of for now is my "ex-girlfriend analogy" that I first mentioned in this blog some time ago. I suppose we get used to something and when it's suddenly not there we get an empty feeling, or a feeling that something is missing. I'm sure it will disappear over time, but I wish it would hurry up get a move on!
If I can think of anything else then I'll obviously post it on here. In the meantime has anyone got any ideas about it and how best to handle it?
Saved so far £264.00
Tuesday, 12 February 2008
Stop Smoking Day 31 - Monday February 11th 2008
Well that's one whole month without smoking so well done me, even if I do say so myself!
This evening was strange, in that I had some really strong urges to smoke again for some reason. I wonder how long it takes for those urges to disappear completely? I suspect that they probably never really go away. Although I think that if you get one in say, 10 years time, you would instantly dismiss it and almost laugh to yourself. Whereas the ones you get after only a month are rather more difficult to ignore.
I'd be interested to hear from anyone else regarding this, especially if you have manged to stop smoking for a good deal longer than me.
Saved so far £255.75
This evening was strange, in that I had some really strong urges to smoke again for some reason. I wonder how long it takes for those urges to disappear completely? I suspect that they probably never really go away. Although I think that if you get one in say, 10 years time, you would instantly dismiss it and almost laugh to yourself. Whereas the ones you get after only a month are rather more difficult to ignore.
I'd be interested to hear from anyone else regarding this, especially if you have manged to stop smoking for a good deal longer than me.
Saved so far £255.75
Monday, 11 February 2008
Stop Smoking Day 30 - Sunday February 10th 2008
I had a couple of pangs today, but I seemed able to control them without too much trouble. I must say again that it seems to be getting easier at the momemnt. I hope that continues!
Saved so far £247.50
Saved so far £247.50
Thursday, 7 February 2008
Day 26 - Wednesday February 6th 2008
Not a good day I'm afraid. I very nearly jacked it all in and had a smoke, I was desperate for one! I think it has to do with what happened yesterday, and I was just thinking "What's the point?".
But the important thing is that I didn't give in and I'm really pleased about that, or all this hard work so far would have been wasted!
Saved so far £214.50
But the important thing is that I didn't give in and I'm really pleased about that, or all this hard work so far would have been wasted!
Saved so far £214.50
Tuesday, 5 February 2008
Day 24 - Monday February 4th 2008
I've been feeling a lot healthier since I stopped smoking. I've noticed my breathing is a lot easier for one thing. I used to wheeze a bit sometimes when I was trying to get to sleep, and I would continually try to clear my throat. Well that never happens anymore so I'm sleeping a lot better.
I've also noticed lately that I'm starting to feel more energetic (perhaps I shouldn't include the word "more", because that suggests I felt a degree of energy before!).
Another bonus is that food tastes so good now. Although I'll have to be careful because I'm eating a lot more, but I'm not putting on weight at the moment.
Sometimes when I really want a smoke (it happened again tonight while I was drinking some brandy) I think of those things and it helps me to resist the temptation.
I've now started to think that although I would like a cigarette and the satisfaction that goes with it, the consequences (i.e. the wheeze, the sleeping, the energy and the food taste) are too high a price to pay. And that's without thinking about all the other stuff like heart disease, cancer, etc. I suppose when there are visible benefits, it becomes easier to not smoke. I mean, all smokers know about cancer, but I bet most of them think "Yeah, but it won't happen to me". That's because they can't see it until it's too late.
It's a shame there isn't something that gives the same satisfaction as a cigarette, but without the health risks. If ever that was invented, it would make somebody very rich. Let's get working on it guys!
Mind you if I invented it, I wouldn't be surprised if the government kidnapped me and destroyed all my research. They would lose too much in taxes (especially in this country) and wouldn't be able to afford to pay the state pensions to everybody who would now live longer.
Maybe I watch too many movies.
Saved so far £198.00
I've also noticed lately that I'm starting to feel more energetic (perhaps I shouldn't include the word "more", because that suggests I felt a degree of energy before!).
Another bonus is that food tastes so good now. Although I'll have to be careful because I'm eating a lot more, but I'm not putting on weight at the moment.
Sometimes when I really want a smoke (it happened again tonight while I was drinking some brandy) I think of those things and it helps me to resist the temptation.
I've now started to think that although I would like a cigarette and the satisfaction that goes with it, the consequences (i.e. the wheeze, the sleeping, the energy and the food taste) are too high a price to pay. And that's without thinking about all the other stuff like heart disease, cancer, etc. I suppose when there are visible benefits, it becomes easier to not smoke. I mean, all smokers know about cancer, but I bet most of them think "Yeah, but it won't happen to me". That's because they can't see it until it's too late.
It's a shame there isn't something that gives the same satisfaction as a cigarette, but without the health risks. If ever that was invented, it would make somebody very rich. Let's get working on it guys!
Mind you if I invented it, I wouldn't be surprised if the government kidnapped me and destroyed all my research. They would lose too much in taxes (especially in this country) and wouldn't be able to afford to pay the state pensions to everybody who would now live longer.
Maybe I watch too many movies.
Saved so far £198.00
Sunday, 3 February 2008
Day 22 - Saturday February 2nd 2008
I missed a day of blogging yesterday, only because I seemed to run out of time and never got round to it! I think I'll keep going on a daily basis for a little longer yet.
I was speaking to a work colleague just before Christmas who gave up in February last year. He said that he doesn't really think about smoking at all now. I asked him how long it took to get to that stage, but he couldn't really remember for sure.
I'm still finding that I think about it several times every day, and I'm wondering exactly when I'll get to the point where I get through a whole day without thinking about it once. I guess it's somewhere between now and 11 months time, judging by my colleague's comment. I suppose beteween now and then, I'll think about it less each day. I probably already do without realising it.
Saved so far £181.50
I was speaking to a work colleague just before Christmas who gave up in February last year. He said that he doesn't really think about smoking at all now. I asked him how long it took to get to that stage, but he couldn't really remember for sure.
I'm still finding that I think about it several times every day, and I'm wondering exactly when I'll get to the point where I get through a whole day without thinking about it once. I guess it's somewhere between now and 11 months time, judging by my colleague's comment. I suppose beteween now and then, I'll think about it less each day. I probably already do without realising it.
Saved so far £181.50
Tuesday, 29 January 2008
Day 17 - Monday January 28th 2008
Well, isn't it strange. After saying things were getting easier, I had a pretty bad time of it tonight and I really wanted one. It wouldn't go away for ages and was awful. Why oh why won't this stop? At least I managed to get through it though which is a good thing.
I very nearly went to the shop for a cigar, but one of the things that stopped me was that not only would I be letting myself down, but also anyone reading this who is finding it inspiring.
Must keep going, hopefully it will be a bit better tomorrow.
Saved so far £140.25
I very nearly went to the shop for a cigar, but one of the things that stopped me was that not only would I be letting myself down, but also anyone reading this who is finding it inspiring.
Must keep going, hopefully it will be a bit better tomorrow.
Saved so far £140.25
Friday, 25 January 2008
Day 13 - Thursday January 24th 2008
Not much happened today really. I'm still having those "pangs" quite a bit, but I've decided that although it would be nice to satisfy that pang, I don't want to do it by having a cigarette. Doing that would just make me feel worse again, i.e. my cough would return, etc, etc.
Saved so far £107.25
Saved so far £107.25
Friday, 18 January 2008
Day 7 - Friday January 18th 2008
Yesterday was a whole lot better than the day before, so I'm feeling very positive about today. I think the ex-girlfiend analogy is helping a lot. I don't know why I didn't think of it before!
At the end of today, it'll be one week since my last smoke which I believe is quite an achievement and one to be proud of.
It's the afternoon now and I'm struggling a bit again. I keep having those urges, can't wait until they go!
Still had some of those nasty urges this evening, but still just about manageable.
Saved so far: £57.75
At the end of today, it'll be one week since my last smoke which I believe is quite an achievement and one to be proud of.
It's the afternoon now and I'm struggling a bit again. I keep having those urges, can't wait until they go!
Still had some of those nasty urges this evening, but still just about manageable.
Saved so far: £57.75
Thursday, 17 January 2008
Day 6 - Thursday January 17th 2008
Yesterday evening was terrible! I felt very depressed and couldn't be bothered to do anything. That's why I'm writing this today rather than yesterday. I feel a bit better today (although it's only 10am) so let's hope that yesterday was the peak!
It's now 14:30 and I just had a really bad craving. I was thinking of going to buy 10, just having a couple now and saving the rest for future emergencies. That would have been stupid wouldn't it?
Anyway, I had a cup of coffee instead and the craving seems to have gone a bit now.
It's the evening now and nowhere near as bad as yesterday. I was just watching something on BBC4 which had The Jam on it (a pop group from the 80s if you're too young to remember).
I immediately thought "I used to smoke then!". Now, I remember thinking the same sort of thing years ago when I had "lost in love", you know, you've been dumped and you see something and you think "I was still with her then". Everything seems against you and the world might as well end. Well it wasn't and it didn't, and when I think back to those moments now, I think what a fool I was.
Imagine if you could have got rid of those awful feelings by nipping down to the shop and buying her back for a fiver! Sure it would have solved the short-term problems, but I'm so glad I wasn't able to do it, as my life would have been so much worse in the longer term.
I'm now able to liken the experience to cigarettes. They've dumped me so I'll have to get over it and move on. So I will and my life will be better for it in the long-term.
Saved so far £49.50
It's now 14:30 and I just had a really bad craving. I was thinking of going to buy 10, just having a couple now and saving the rest for future emergencies. That would have been stupid wouldn't it?
Anyway, I had a cup of coffee instead and the craving seems to have gone a bit now.
It's the evening now and nowhere near as bad as yesterday. I was just watching something on BBC4 which had The Jam on it (a pop group from the 80s if you're too young to remember).
I immediately thought "I used to smoke then!". Now, I remember thinking the same sort of thing years ago when I had "lost in love", you know, you've been dumped and you see something and you think "I was still with her then". Everything seems against you and the world might as well end. Well it wasn't and it didn't, and when I think back to those moments now, I think what a fool I was.
Imagine if you could have got rid of those awful feelings by nipping down to the shop and buying her back for a fiver! Sure it would have solved the short-term problems, but I'm so glad I wasn't able to do it, as my life would have been so much worse in the longer term.
I'm now able to liken the experience to cigarettes. They've dumped me so I'll have to get over it and move on. So I will and my life will be better for it in the long-term.
Saved so far £49.50
Wednesday, 16 January 2008
Day 5 – Wednesday January 16th 2008
I’ve had some strong urges ‘just to have one’ today but I have resisted. Not sure how I’ve resisted but I keep thinking how crap I’d feel if I gave in. Earlier I felt dizzy, and read that it’s a normal reaction caused by my brain getting more oxygen than it’s used to!
I had a restless night last night and couldn’t get to sleep for ages so I’m tired today. It all seems to be getting worse rather than better! Maybe it will peak soon and then start to get easier again.
Saved so far £41.25
I had a restless night last night and couldn’t get to sleep for ages so I’m tired today. It all seems to be getting worse rather than better! Maybe it will peak soon and then start to get easier again.
Saved so far £41.25
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